Tag Archives: friends

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

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Written by who knows but this is great!

“Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they
haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it
was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who
passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back.
From then on, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn’t
suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does
the word ‘refrigeration’ mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you
watched ‘Jeopardy’ on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , ‘How about going
to lunch in a half hour?’ She would gas up and stammer, ‘I can’t. I have
clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I
had a late breakfast, It looks like rain’ And my personal favorite: ‘It’s
Monday.’ She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our
headaches. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves
when all the conditions are perfect!

We’ll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve
toilet-trained. We’ll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet.
We’ll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and
the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken,
and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of ‘I’m going to,’ ‘I
plan on,’ and ‘Someday’ when things are settled down a bit.’

When anyone calls my ‘seize the moment’ friend, she is open to adventure
and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her
enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes,
and you’re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and
skip an elevator for a bungee cord.

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It’s
just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula
and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and
bought a triple-dip. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I
would have died happy.

Now…go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to…not something
on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one
phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And
why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round or listened to the
rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight or
gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on
the fly? When you ask ‘How are you?’ Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores
running through your head? Ever told your child, ‘We’ll do it tomorrow.’
And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good
friendship die? Just call to say ‘Hi’?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened
gift….Thrown away…. Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the
music before the song is over.”

To those who are reading this, I cherish our connection and appreciate
all you do.

‘Life may not be the party we hoped for… but while we are here we might
as well dance!’

Up and Down; In and Out

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No, this blog is not about sex 🙂 I just keep having this thought about the people in my life and how the relationships are up and down, in and out, all over the place.

I’m fairly certain this only started after I had my daughter. I also think I feel this way as I have a lot of new people in my life–new moms, new families, new babies, etc. and don’t have a stable, constant place where I see the same people everyday (i.e., work). I realized just today that I hadn’t had this many new people in my life since starting college. Am I just out of practice in talking to and meeting people?

I know I have my own issues and “stories” of why people don’t respond to emails or “fill in the blank,” but I think I’m a decent person to be around. Sure, I have been saying stupid things more and more due to mom-brain and just being nervous about saying the wrong thing, but is it really that bad? Am I that annoying?

I constantly have to keep reminding myself that all these new folks I am meeting have their own lives, their own challenges and most of those challenges are new to them and their families. I’m lucky that I don’t have work in the mix, but I know most of the new moms I have met have had to go back. It’s hard to even imagine working no less having a new baby, keeping up with email and trying to keep my marriage in tact.. AND creating new friendships and playdates!

My wish for all new moms is that we could talk more, share more. I am part of a couple groups where they are closer and share at least over email, but also tend to meet a bit more often. As the summer has neared, however, I’m seeing less and less interaction. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?? All I can do is sit here and speculate, which really gets me no where.

I have decided, I think it’s time for me to LIVE. I just turned 40, I have a baby who’s a lot of fun to play with and summer is here, so it’s time to get out there and enjoy life! I know that sounds fairly simple, but most of my life has been full of work or school or dating or analyzing “fill in the blank.” It’s time, it’s time.

I’m still going to reach out, but I think I need to just CHILL and put things in perspective. Easier said than done, but to enjoy life, I’ll have to make those changes.

For anyone reading (mom, dad, etc.), have you had this issue of people coming in and out of your life and bit more often than usual? Why do you think that happens?