I’m not a procrastinator.. I usually have reasons I don’t do stuff. Blogging is no exception.
I just saw my last post was at the end of January — FAIL. I attended a Boston Parent Bloggers event around that time and thought I should post something as I met a few folks and passed along my blog link. Apparently going to an event and meeting people that could possibly be solid followers didn’t get me to write. Don’t get me wrong, I was totally inspired by every single person there, but I was in the place of obligation *shudder*. I so hate that word.
When I start to feel obligated, I get resentful and when I get resentful, I turn into a 16 year old. “You can’t make me” is generally the phrase of the day running inside my head. The thing is that no one is “making me” do anything other than myself. I realized the other day, however, that I was putting off writing (read: procrastinating 🙂 because it wasn’t fun any more. Well, not that it wasn’t fun, but I wasn’t writing random stuff for myself. Everytime I brought out the laptop to write, I was thinking about possible new people that would read my blog–could I say something witty, annoying, or anything to make people comment? Due to all that, I just said “eff it” and wrote the blog in my head. Damn I had some good ones. But with in a few hours, it was all gone and guilt and confusion set in. I wondered if I would just give it up all together.
I’ve thought a lot about what a couple people said at the BPB event back in February and I’ve also seen a few people write this in their introductions online. “I’m just going to continue to write for myself and see what happens.” That’s the key. Writing for myself? That context left a while ago.. no wonder I’m not inspired to write anymore.
I decided to blog today just to get it out of the way, no matter how rambling this was or how crazy it sounded. I have a lot to say, things happen daily and I’d really like to write them down. I also feel that people/parents may get a lot out of what I’m saying and I’m always up for comments and advice.
I’ll end here saying that I really do want to blog every day. I found how hard that was to do back in November, but I think I can make it happen. It may just be a phrase, posting a video or something else, but I really do want to keep this up and gather some readers. I”m not sure I have a specific focus, but maybe one will arise.
Thanks for your patience. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming….