I Need a Break

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Holy Crap.

Today was probably one of the worst days I’ve had with my daughter since she was a month old. She’s 6.5 months now. I know this age brings a lot of changes, not to mention she was sick with a headcold all weekend.. but even with that being said.. there were times I wanted to throw her out the window, or better yet, throw myself out.

I still haven’t figured out what the deal was.. she was cranky all day, whiny, crying while she ate, fussed every time I changed her diaper.. the only time she was fine was drinking her bottle, on our walk today and in her bath. Other than that, it was borderline hell.

It’s highly possible it was me. Was I putting out some negative energy?

I was dreading today, in a way, because my husband was going to a show tonight at the House of Blues. I wasn’t jealous (although I am now!), but that meant that I was with Jax for 14 hours straight. This may not be a big deal for some moms, but I have a wonderful husband that has a great work schedule, so it always balances out. Usually when it hits the 9 hour mark, he’s either home or about to be.. ends up I can rest a little bit, step away, take a breath.. but today.. well, I had to deal with all the ups and downs (mostly downs) on my own.

These are the times when I really have compassion for the single parents out there.. although I don’t dare say “I understand,” I can at least get a snapshot of what they must deal with. I know I am blessed to have a wonderful partner and friends that support me and days like this make me think about all the other moms out there and what we all do, what we sacrifice, for our families.

But right now, I’m finally getting some well needed (and deserved) quiet. Jax finally stopped crying, has fallen asleep and now I’m trying to de-stress.. and trying not to think about doing all of this again.. and oh yeah, we are getting a major storm tomorrow, which more than likely means we’re stuck in the house.. again.

As I take a deep breath, I will end here. I love my daughter, but how to get thru another day like this?? I need suggestions!

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About Kathy G

Iā€™m simple, yet complicated. Music is the Soundtrack of my life. I'm always looking for the next best thing and stuff that I haven't heard. I consider myself: Cool, intense, passionate, love people until they piss me off--then love them again. I'm dedicated, honest and one of the best friends you can have (or I do my best to be). Tap dancing is my newest passion. I love my soulmate and husband, Joe, with everything I am. My dreams? This seems to change from month to month, but I'd like to be the following: A Solid Gold Dancer, Contestant on The Gong Show, Madonna for a day, Dance all night at Studio54 in 1978, Travel around with Motley Crue in 1986, Open a kick ass dance club in NYC, Produce an album at Paisley Park, Cause world peace to be possible, be a millionaire so I can give away a lot of money to causes that need it, and win a Grammy. But most of all, I would like to feel at peace and make a profound difference in the world doing something I love.

4 responses »

  1. Hang in there Kat! Mark was right that it gets better and worse and better and worse. If it’s any consolation, I have been there and still get there at times with my own even though they are older. My oldest and I almost had a serious meltdown over whether her shoes matched or not one day. I finally just had to walk away. Not trying to scare you (I don’t want you thinking “Oh no, it doesn’t get better?!?!?!”), but am instead trying to say that I think every parent at various points feels overwhelmed. It’s those incredibly awesome moments (the laughs, the smiles, the kisses, the holding hands, the way they look like little angels while sleeping) that make it all worth while.

  2. I have only done this once but a similarly bad day had me put her in her crib, crying, and just walking into the other room, got a drink of water and just breathed calmly for a few minutes. It did a world of good for me and a few minutes of crying didn’t hurt PJ. Came back to her and I was in a much better situation.

    Hang in there – it gets better (and then worse, then better again). šŸ™‚

  3. 1. Don’t forget to breathe.
    2. Go to Panera before you get snowed in.
    3. Teeth, maybe? A little Tylenol could help if that’s it. Or a cold teething ring.
    4. Take her majesty out in the snow for a while.
    5. Did I mention breathing and Panera?

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